Pleas and Promises
by Ria Cullen
Summary: Takes place in New Moon. Edward has just broken up with Bella and left her in the woods. He returns to her room to collect the things that would remind her of him. This is my interpretation of how this painful experience would be for Edward.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight-related, Stephenie Meyer gets all the credit. ****The italicized quotes are taken directly from _New Moon_ and are not my words.** No copyright infringement intended. 

**A/N: The setting is right after Edward tells Bella he is leaving her. I know that Edward removed his things from her room **_**before**_** breaking up with her, but I think this way makes for a more dramatic story. Work with me.**

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EPOV:

I was truly a monster. I was a greater evil than even a vampire alone. I was the kind of evil that preyed on the purest of souls, the kindest of hearts. I was a monster that lured her in with my sickening charm and appealing looks- who told her I loved her, only to abandon her without warning.

"_You are the very best part of my life_," she had said as I hurt her.

I had broken her heart into pieces so fragmented that I prayed she could somehow place them back together, that someone could put her back together. My heart was now absent. The reeling feeling of emptiness in my silent chest left me wondering if I ever even had a heart to begin with. How could anything but a monster hurt the one it loves most in such a brutal way, such as I had just done to Bella.

I had run from her, left her alone on the fringe of the forest. I thought it would be safe for her there. Of course, I was wrong; nothing was safe for her as long as I was around. I heard her now, fumbling and falling, running deeper into the woods. Each of her cries and screams of my name sent daggers through my body. It took all of my strength to not run to her, to tell her to forget all of the heinous things I had said.

I couldn't do that. I had made my decision. Bella deserved a life free from my interference. She deserved to be human and not to be surrounded by vampires who had a thirst for her sweet blood.

It was a difficult choice to come to and it took several days for me to develop the will to do what I just did, to leave her. I had to numb myself first. I thought my coolness the past few days would make it easier on her. I thought the detachment would make it easier for me. What a futile notion it had been, for nothing could take the edge off this kind of pain. Her pleas from this afternoon swam throughout my head, making me dizzy.

"_You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay!" _

I ensured her safety by leaving a note for Charlie. I was worried she would get lost amongst the thick woods. I could no longer pretend to be her savior anymore; she needed someone else to look out for her, someone who didn't consistently place her in danger.

Alice thought I was absurd for acting this way. She assured me that Jasper was truly sorry and very upset with himself over what had happened. However, I already knew this, better than her even, considering I could read Jasper's self-loathing thoughts. I knew he felt terrible, but it wasn't just my family I was protecting Bella from. She needed to live a normal life and it was not normal for her to desire to end her own life for my benefit. This was the only way to make things right again.

"_Where you are is the right place for me."_

I made my way to Bella's bedroom because I had one last promise that I was determined to keep. It was the very least I could do. I promised Bella that it would be as if I never existed in her life, so I needed to remove the remnants of my presence.

Her photo album was lying on the floor next to her bed. I picked it up and placed it on her bed to look through it. On the first page of the album was a picture of myself. My stomached turned due to the disgust I felt from the sight of my face. I removed it from the book and continued to flip through the pages, removing the pictures of the horrid monster.

"_Wait!" _

The little box with the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme had given her sat on her nightstand. I grabbed them and looked to her CD player, removing the disc. No longer would Bella fall asleep to my lullaby.

I collected all of the items and held them as I deliberated on what to do. I could no longer hear Bella outside. I longed to run back to her. I hoped that she had stopped walking and gave up trying to find me. I told myself that it didn't matter, that I couldn't interfere with her life anymore.

"_You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"_

I felt myself crumbing from the inside out. The numbness that had protected me thus far was beginning to dissipate. Tearlessly, I sobbed. I knew I deserved this and that I should leave before Bella found her way back, but I could not find my feet. After a long moment, I pulled myself together in order to finish what needed to be done.

I lifted up a loose floorboard near the corner of her room and stashed the items beneath it. I'm not sure why I did this. Maybe it was because I could not bear the thought of disposing of them, or even worse, keeping the painful reminders for myself. Maybe it was because a small part of me wanted her to find these things and realize that I still loved her. The sobs started to creep up again and I swallowed them back.

"_You… don't… want me?"_

I stood up from kneeling on the floor and straightened my jacket, looking one last time about the room. I looked at the bed that I had shared with her often over the months. I breathed deeply, taking in the scent that I could not believe I once resented. Now I was thankful for my infallible memory so that I would never forget it. I could never forget Bella.

Taking a deep parting breath, I gazed out her window that looked out to the woods that would lead me to my home, in the opposite direction of her. I opened the window and left her behind. I tried to run from her pleading voice in my head.

"_Don't. Don't do this."_

I had never run faster.


End file.
